Dear Elevator Music, Your Time is Up. A Manifesto for Unapologetically Buff Beats

Let’s address the elephant in the room—or, more accurately, the vaguely synthesized pan flute in the corner. We need to talk about Bad Coffee Shop Music.

You know the offender: that soulless, acoustic-guitar-driven loop that sounds like it was generated by an algorithm designed solely to maximize blandness. You hear it in person, you hear it on devoted satellite radio channels, and it’s a full collection of YouTube accounts.

It’s the sonic equivalent of lukewarm milk. It is, frankly, an insult to your impeccable taste and your perfectly brewed cup of Buff Boy coffee.

At Buff Boy Brewing Co. and Buff Radio, we declare: NO MORE MUSICAL MEDIOCRITY!

This isn’t “coffee shop music” — it’s coffee music — music actually about coffee.

The Crime Against Caffeine

When you invest in a premium, perfectly roasted cup of coffee, you are investing in an experience. (Talk about an investment — hi, Starbucks prices.) You deserve music that matches that energy, that effort and that price tag. Generic, inoffensive background noise is a betrayal of the brew.

It signals that the establishment doesn’t trust you, the customer, to handle anything with flavor, personality or a respectable bassline. They want you to feel “calm,” but all you feel is confused about where your day went wrong.

This is where Buff Radio steps in as your auditory vigilante.

Buff Radio: Your Sonic Saviour

We launched Buff Radio with one mission: to save your ears from the mundane. We reject the notion that music in a coffee setting must be background. It should be vibe-setting. It should be motivational. It should make you feel like the main character you clearly are.

We Believe In:

1. Beats, Not Bores: We prioritize tracks that have rhythm, energy and a pulse. Whether it’s high-energy morning pop or late-night instrumental jazz, it must have texture.

2. Personality, Not Pacification: We don’t fear a dramatic drop or a powerful vocal performance. Our music has character, sometimes even a little swagger, just like our customers.

3. The Context is Key: The music we play in the morning is designed to fuel your ambition. The music we play in the afternoon is designed to keep you cruising. It’s intentional (yes, that word again, but we mean it!) and strategic.

A Call to Arms (and Ears)

If you are currently sipping a strong cup of our coffee while listening to something that sounds like hold music, we encourage you to stage an immediate protest.

• Step 1: Open the Buff Radio link.

• Step 2: Turn it up (respectfully, of course, unless you’re alone).

• Step 3: Sip your coffee and let the superior, unapologetically Buff beats wash over you.

We are building a community where high quality is the standard—not just in our beans, but in our beats. We owe it to the coffee and we owe it to ourselves to demand a better soundtrack for our beautiful lives.

Join the movement. Tune into Buff Radio and let us know what musical tragedy you escaped today!